Tico Barnett

Tico Barnett, born 13th september 2007 - fell asleep 14th October 2007.

Tico was our second child, as we had previously delivered our little girl 'Darcy' at 19 weeks, she was born sleeping because of her gestation. We had an eventful pregnancy with both of them, generally with small bleeds which lead to nothing but after investigations in my pregnancy with Tico I was found to have an incompetent cervix. Therefore I had a stitch put in place at 17 weeks, unfortunately the stitch wasnt in the best place and it came loose at 23+2 gestation. Tico was then born at 18:21 that same day. Being of that gestation we were told that if he was to come out fighting then they would help him to fight but if he was born sleeping then they would leave him to rest, thankfully he came out alive. His arms and legs were flying about all over but he hadnt took that first gasp, they gave him oxygen to try and make him take that first breath and after a minute and a half of being born he did! After ventilation tubes were in place he was transferred to the neonatal unit, which was our home for the following 31 days.

Throughout his time there he had overcome so many things. Thankfully the doctors and nurses kept us informed and told us about hurdles we may come across and things that are common in premature babies, which helped immensly as it wasnt a shock if something cropped up.
So what did he have in his time on the unit; 3 infections, 4 blood transfusions, a head scan, 4 echo's(heart scans), many cannula's and longlines, 12 x-rays and many tube changes such as his feeding tube (through his nose to his tummy) and ventilation tube (through his mouth into his lungs). So quite a bit really for someone who only weight 540grams (approx 1pound 2ounces).

Tico had a constant battle with his ventilation as his lungs were tiny, he was generally on a standard ventilator but had to go on a high frequency oscillator for a week as part of his lung collapsed. He was never in high amounts of oxygen but sometimes he dropped his saturations and struggled to get back up but this was due to a duct in his heart (common in premature babies). We were informed of this quite early on and told that sometimes they close on their own, or with the help of some medication and a last resort was surgery. They monitored the duct throughout and when he was approximately 3 weeks old they tried some medication to close it but this was unsuccessful, so we knew that he would have to have the operation at some point but they wanted him to be a little bigger and stronger.

Tico continued to do well, loving all the attention from all his family and friends and especially the doctors and nurses. He managed to master the art of grabbing everyones attention by dropping his saturations or something like that then once everyone was round him and focused on him he rectifed himself and Im sure I could see him smiling as if he was really proud of himself.

Sunday 14th october 2007 - the worst day of my life. We had just woken up and was about to phone the unit to see how he had been through the night(as we always did), the phone rang and it was the nurse looking after him. She was just phoning to say he hadnt had a very good night and he was 'off colour', so it was just to warn us really but we rushed up anyway. My heart sank to see him white/blue ish in colour, we were really concerned so the nurse got the doctor to bring us up to speed. He informed us that they couldnt get him settled on his ventilation and they were going to try a few things to settle him, the first was to change his ventilation tube as he had always had trouble with secreations blocking it then if that wasnt to work maybe put him back on the oscillator for a bit. I had to know how bad it was and the doctor said he wasnt overly concerned, the doctors had told us when he was only a few hours old that they would always be truthful and they had been throughout his time there, so we did feel slightly better but were still worried as none of the plan had worked so far.

Shortly after this his heart rate started to drop, which it had never done before, we were past ourselves with worry. They gave him adrenalin to help his heart rate come back up and he reacted to it quite well as it came up to him normal rate quite quickly. A few minutes later he did it again so another 2 shots of adrenalin and he was back up again but we went into the waiting room at this point as there was quite a lot of nurses/doctors around him and also there was another baby needed attention so the room was getting very crowded. We sat in the waiting room crying our eyes out and holding each other as deep down I think we both knew what was coming, at this point we started to discuss if we had to make a decision to stop any suffering and we both came up with the same answer - we didnt want our son to suffer. At that point the doctor came in and said he wasnt responding to the adrenalin anymore and if we wanted him to go to sleep peacefully. So as we agreed we didnt want him to suffer, the doctor lead us into the room where his tummy had swollen very badly and they were currently trying to massage his heart. Again this killed me and I still have nightmares about it now, they disconnected him from all of his support and laid him in my arms to go to sleep in his own time, not connected to any machines and not in any pain. I had him in my arms telling him how much we loved him, how he was my sunshine and also my hero, I then gave him to paul as he had never got to hold him(I had only held him twice) as he was never well enough. Our little son was then fast asleep, with us by his side.

Tico was such a brave little boy with so much strength and determination, for which I admired him. He touched so many peoples lives, it wasnt just family and friends it was people who hadnt even met him or us for that matter.

Tico Barnett the best son anyone could wish for, sleep tight sunshine, Darcy will look after you. xx

Tico has a memorial fund set up for the neonatal unit which looked after him, this site was set up by an amazing person who thought so much of him. Please donate if you can, no matter how small it will make a difference.
http://www.justgiving.com/ticobarnettfund

Thankyou in advance